


You Took My Hand, Now Here Is My Heart

by TheHylianTribute



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, Super Old and Bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28017795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHylianTribute/pseuds/TheHylianTribute
Summary: Based on Johnathan and Nancy's first kiss scene in Stranger Things. (No knowledge of the show is needed.) Upon unfortunate events there is one less bed on the train to the Victory Tour. Peeta offers to sleep on the couch, but we all know where he really wants to sleep. Haymitch can help with that.
Relationships: Katniss Everdeen/Peeta Mellark
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

***Brief Mention of Abuse, No Graphic Details***

**I also wrote this over a year ago, so it sucks. Sorry!** ****

* * *

Digging my nails into my palms is all I can do to stop myself from punching Effie straight in her overly-powdered face. Hundreds of kids die of starvation, dehydration, and disease every year, and not to mention the twenty-three broadcasted deaths that she actively takes a part of, but she is worried about having one less bedroom on her private train.

There was only supposed to be one victor, but because Peeta and I had the guts to defy the Capitol, the train had one less bedroom.

I am about to scream at her about how kids from district twelve have to share a house the size of a single train car, but I feel Peeta's hand latch onto mine from under the table. He probably sensed how tense I was, and knew that would lead to nothing but disaster. I try my best to keep quiet and focus on the lamb stew in front of me.

"I will just take the sofa, Effie." Of course Peeta would offer something like his own comfort for the sake of others. Effie thanks him, but Haymitch tips back his chair - with his ever present bottle in hand - and gives us a strange look. It's not anything I would recognize from him immediately like anger or loathing, more like confusion.

"What did she do this time?" he asks Peeta. Now it's our turn to be confused.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask defensively.

"Well Sweetheart," I groan at his nickname for me "the only thing that can keep bread boy more than five feet away from you is if you got into a fight."

"Peeta and I didn't get into a fight but we, on the other hand, just might!"

"Then why don't you share the bed?" I will make sure Haymitch pays for this later.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. If you two are mad at each other, then why not share the bed?"

I try to think of a sufficient answer, but nothing comes to mind. Even Effie is quiet. Peeta and I drop each other's hands immediately. I try to think of Prim or really any happy memory to feel less embarrassed, and when that doesn't work I imagine the floor opening up and sucking me in. I hope that subsides the blush covering my whole face.

"Nevermind, I got it. Name?"

I give him a befuddled look, but he doesn't seem to care.

"What is his name?" He starts to sound impatient.

"Gale," Peeta blurts out. I glare at him with utter bewilderment in my eyes. Why the hell is he bringing Gale into this mess? What does he even have to do with anything?

"Oh, Gale. You like Gale, Katniss, but you don't love Gale," Haymitch says all too confidently.

I stutter hoping to get something comprehensible out of it, but no words emerge.

Everything everyone has said has slowly cracked down my emotional walls that I have been putting up since I was eleven years old, but the one that demolishes them all is the look on Peeta's face. Mostly he is trying to let everything sink in about my mixed feelings for Gale. He probably thought that Gale was the only person that I cared for more than platonically, but on the contrary, having this speech has made me realize that I don't think of Gale as anything more than my best friend. But under all of that, there is hope in Peeta's eyes. For what exactly, I will have to figure out later.

"Can I take a guess on what the conflict of this supposed fairytale romance is?" I do not appreciate his sarcasm. He takes our silence as a yes. "You," his long, slender finger points at me, "are afraid of letting anyone into your tiny heart after your father died. You think that if you love anyone they will just walk right out." His arm shifts over to my right where Peeta sits. "Your case is a little more complicated. You would love a relationship with Katniss and you are not afraid to express it, but you will do anything to protect the ones you love because, believe me, you know what it is like to get hurt. You are really too cautious about people's feelings. So, how did I do?"

No one dares to make a remark. I wish I could say that everything Haymitch just said about me was a lie, but I can't because it was nothing but the truth. How did he even know about my father? What did he mean by Peeta knows what it is like to get hurt? Obviously the games hurt all of us, but why would he only apply that to Peeta?

Haymitch visibly rolls his eyes. "Kids these days. Fine, the sofa is a pull out, so it is useable. But for the love of all of us, quit being in denial, make out, and share the damn bed." His voice rises towards the end of his speech, not angerly, but not kindly either. All three of us are wide eyed. He chuckles to himself and leaves. The rest of us awkwardly follow suit.

I sit on my bed thinking over Haymitch's words. I try to think about everything he said of me. He said I was afraid. "I am not afraid," I whisper to myself. I know everything else he said about me is true, so I quickly dismiss it after that, but the phrase that truly haunts my mind is what he said to Peeta, "...you know what it's like to get hurt." I repeat the phrase over and over in my mind. Thinking about someone hurting Peeta makes me practically furious, until I realize who Haymitch was talking about. Me. I hurt Peeta Mellark, and I will never forgive myself for it. On the train home I was so confused what was reality and what was just for show.

I decide that the least I can do is apologize. I heave myself off of the bed and start walking to the train car that holds the living room, which is only two cars away. I step into the dining room when I spot Peeta doing the same from the other side.

"Oh, hey," I whisper

"Hey."

"Peeta, I am so sorry. I don't deserve you. I deserve to live in solitude, that way I can't hurt anyone like I hurt you." Tears threaten to spill like my words.

"Katniss, what are you talking about? What happened?" 

"When Haymitch said that you know the feeling of getting hurt, he was talking about what happened on the train home from the games." He flinches at the memory, but recovers quickly.

"No Katniss, you have it all wrong." He sighs heavily and sits at the table beside us and I copy.

His hand curls up into a fist, so I grab it and rub circles on the back of it. What shocks me is how instinctive it was.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No, I don't want you to blame yourself for something you didn't do." He takes one last deep breath. "My mom would beat my brothers and me. Haymitch found out from my stylist after she saw my scars, and he has to blurt out the one thing I tell him to keep a secret."

"I am so sorry about your mom. How are you still so kind after everything that you endured? How do you not turn inhuman?"

"I guess I don't want to be anything like my mother cause I know how soul crushing it is to be on the receiving end." How can someone so kind get thrust into a world of such cruelty?

"Okay, last question. I promise."

"Last answer. I promise." 

"How did you not expect this kind of behavior with Haymitch? I mean, look at the whole dinner fiasco tonight."

He gives a light, nervous chuckle. "I was blackmailed. He threatened me saying that he would tell you about my crush on you. That was, before I told everyone on national television. But long story short, Haymitch is nothing but an alcoholic and he has no idea what he is talking about."

"He knows us for a little less than a year and thinks he can recite every last detail about us."

"I know, right? Thank you, Katniss. I feel so much better now that everything is cleared up."

"Of course." We get up slowly, trying our best not to make any noise. Watching him walk back in the direction of the living room with the pull out couch makes me feel a surge of guilt and longing.

"Um...Goodnight I guess," I whisper.

"Goodnight," he replies. And with that, we both go back to our rooms. Or, I go to my room and he goes to the living room. But it's not before I sneak one last look at him.

The moment I sit on the bed it becomes apparent that I will not be able to sleep. I hold a pillow against my chest. How could you sleep on a bed that feels as if it has been stuffed with your guilt? This is crazy. I am being so selfish. Peeta shouldn't have to use a couch. I should just let him share the bed with me. Then maybe, just maybe, I can tell him how I truly feel.

In one swift movement I toss the pillow to the side, stride towards the door, and swing it open. Every plan I had goes straight out the window the moment I see Peeta right in front of me. Without a word he leans in and kisses me. I am so startled that I pull away. We both just stare at each other. But for a brief moment I feel it again. The stirring that I felt when we kissed in the cave. When Gale kissed me I felt nothing. This is something only Peeta can give me. Is this what Haymitch feels when drinks, or Effie when she puts on a wig? He is about to apologize but I silence him with a kiss instead. For once in my life I know what I want, and I will not let it walk right pass me. With that thought we walk backwards into the bedroom, slamming the door behind us.

**"I fell in love the way you fall asleep, slowly, then all at once."**

**\- The Fault in Our Stars by John Green**


	2. Chapter 2

"Get up, Katniss! It's time for another big, big, big, day!" Effie's shrill voice calls out from the other side of my door. I am just glad it was her and not a nightmare.

I roll over onto my right side and find him staring at me, smiling. I roll my eyes dramatically.

"What?" Peeta asks.

"How are you always smiling? I am starting to think that it is permanently plastered onto your face. And now you are rubbing off on me because I am sitting here with a stupid grin and I can't get it off." I theatrically rub my hand over my mouth as if my smile were a smudge.

"Is there anything else I can do besides smiling when the most beautiful girl in the world is lying right in front of me and is not completely disgusted with me?"

I have never been good at taking compliments. I can only imagine how red my face is. To distract him I grab onto the nearest pillow and throw it at him. At the last second he shields his face with his hands. I forgot how fast a victors reflexes are. He picks it right back up and sends it flying towards my face and but I duck fairly quickly. That's when it turns into an all out war. We use every last pillow and blanket on each other before we both collapse on the ground, laughing like we are toddlers. People like us live in a vast sea of problems forcing us to grow up quickly, so when we see an opportunity for anything remotely fun or childlike we are skeptical at first, but quickly take up the offer, knowing that we might not get another.

"Katniss? What is going on in there?" Effie calls out once more. Peeta and I fall silent immediately.

"Nothing," I say unconvincingly. She seems to buy it and I hear her heels click against the ground as she walks away. I heave a sigh of relief and sit up against the bottom of the bed next to Peeta.

I take this rare moment of serenity to study his face. His eyelashes are so light that they look translucent in the sunlight. His hair, on the other hand, is ash blonde and frames his face with its waves. It tends to fall in his face, but he never bothers to fix it. He is probably so used to it by now it doesn't tamper with his concentration. His smile is usually spred across his whole face. It can practically light up a room. But by far the most compelling thing about Peeta Mellark is his eyes. They are the color of the oceans that you can only see from Capitol news at District 4. They are what I search for when I want to feel loved. They are what put me back together. His eyes shelter me from reality and find a way to bring me back to it.

He turns his head to look at me and even though I don't want him to know I was staring, I can't seem to look away from his eyes.

"I love you, Katniss," he blurts out. I am absolutely speechless. "I know love is just a word that is hastily thrown around to the point to where it has no meaning so I will try to explain it more fittingly for the way I feel about you. The reason I wake up is to make sure you are okay. The only way I can fall asleep is knowing that I saw you today and I will again tomorrow. My life is not mine, it is yours. I don't expect you to say any of this back, I just had to say something before internally imploding."

"How could I let this get so far?" I ask myself more then him. He looks confused. I take a deep breath. I did not expect to tell him this today or at all really, but I can't let him keep thinking this. "Peeta, I love you so much that it scares me. That's why I lied on the train ride home after the games and ignored you when we got there. I had never felt the way I feel when I am with you and I thought that if I shelter myself from love, then it could never hurt me. But staying away from you was the most painful thing to ever happen to me." I try to keep talking but his lips press into mine and I immediately melt into the kiss. It fills me with warmth that starts in my chest and quickly spreads out till it has reached every fiber of my being.

"Katniss Everdeen, if you are not out here in fifteen minutes I am busting this door down!" Peeta and I practically jump away from each other. Up until this moment I forgot there was a world outside of my room. Effie tries to open the door but luckily I locked it last night. I can easily imagine the smug look on Haymitch's face if he saw us now.

"Sorry, Effie. The shower had new... um... options and I... uh... got distracted again." I have always been a terrible liar but this is an all time low.

"Just get dressed and out here now!"

"Okay."

"Oh, one more thing. Have you seen Peeta? I looked everywhere and I can't find him." I turn to look at him.

"Nope. Haven't seen him."

"Okay, but if you do tell him it is time for breakfast."

"Will do." I hear her leave once again.

* * *

We all sit awkwardly at the table, eating our breakfast quietly.

"Katniss, how were the new shower options?" Haymitch questions me.

"Interesting," I reply.

"It is so weird how you got new settings when I didn't." He is not going to let this go easily when he knows I was obviously lying.

"That is weird. Maybe my prep team finally realized how much of a mess my hair is and that they need all the help they can get."

"Maybe." He let my lie go which only means he found something even more embarrassing to talk about. I brace myself but he turns to Peeta instead "So Peeta, how was the pull out?" I look up from my eggs to find Peeta spitting out a little bit of his orange juice back into his cup. With all the alcohol it is easy to forget how truly smart Haymitch can be.

"Ah, sorry?" It's hilarious to watch someone like Peeta stumble through his words.

"The sofa," he states as if it were obvious about what he was referring to.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah it was good." I do my best to hold back the laughter that tries to escape my lips.

"I bet."

* * *

"So Katniss and Peeta, we will be arriving at District 11 in two hours. You will go up to the podium, give a few acknowledgements about the fallen tributes, and wrap the day up with a dinner, go back to the train and repeat. Now, doesn't that sound fun?"

Peeta and I don't know what to say so we just nod.

"Great! So about those acknowledgements, the tributes for District 11 were Thresh and Rue..."

My heart drops. I don't know if I can talk about them, not yet. I look at Peeta and with nothing but my glance, he understands everything.

He leans in towards my ear. "I could do the talking if you please." I nod gratefully and intertwine my fingers with his. Haymitch gives a pointed look at our hands and raises an eyebrow. I don't know what to do besides scowl until I find his hand on Effie's knee and give him the same look. For a split second he looks shocked. He probably didn't even know he was doing it until I caught him. I give him a self-satisfied smirk and get up with Peeta to leave. Hopefully we can find something to do before we officially have to start our victory tour. It's not going to be easy talking about the tributes, but I have Peeta, and that is all I could ever want.


End file.
